Portrait of Eleanor and Franklin as Some Aspect of My Parents.
The Ken Burns documentary is very moving, not least because of what Daisy, a beloved cousin of FDR’s, is reported to have said about their relationship: They were always looking for each other’s approval, and there was something in their great love that prohibited them from ever relaxing in the other’s presence.
Daisy’s point is well taken if one thinks of romantic love and partnership as a way of “relaxing,” especially if, like Franklin and Eleanor, like my father and mother, one person is over loved, and the other person is under loved. (FDR’s strong willed mother could not take her eyes off her beautiful son, while Eleanor’s mother did not like looking at her eldest daughter, who she deemed unattractive; Eleanor’s father adored her, but was a hopeless alcoholic.) Neither understands the emotional language of the other, and the strain–the commitment–is in trying to decipher what is being said, communicated.
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